The Sugar Diaries: Day 9

Today is a pretty average day without many real cravings. Go to the gym and run an ‘easy’ 2 miles – side note, I am now a person who finds running two miles easy! Strange mix of pride and disgust.

Dinner represents a slight challenge. Have planned to go to Wagamama with the girls AKA White Carb City. I look up the menu beforehand and choose the seared nuoc cham tuna which turns out to be DELICIOUS. It’s also not something I would have chosen had I not given up sugar, so happy days.

Star rating: ★★★★

Wait – what’s this about? So glad you asked. Let me tell you.

The Sugar Diaries: Day 8

9am Wake up from a bad dream feeling glum. Have breakfast – shredded wheat and blueberries. I love this part of the day but I’m sorry about how boring it is to report. Look up my hunger symptoms over coffee, find several sources where other people have experienced the same constant hunger. I guess this is withdrawal. Grim.

11am Am in love with today’s guest speaker. Spend the next two hours giggling about it on the group chat. Get peckish and eat most of my afternoon snack – it’s oatcakes and cashew nuts, obviously.

1pm Heat up rice with roasted veggies and halloumi from the other day. Buy a flat white. Yuuuuum. Friends all have cake. I’m so unfazed by the cake that I don’t even really notice how little I noticed I wasn’t having any until three hours later.

4pm After next lecture (again, in love with the lecturer. Is this a withdrawal symptom? If so, I like it). Eat an apple on the way to newspaper editorial meeting. Two people show up. This is a great turnout.

6:30pm Feminist book club. There’s always cheese and wine at book club but as I arrive it strikes me that I might not be able to eat the crackers! Disaster threatens – but never fear. Lovely feminist book club leaders have provided us not with crackers but – you guessed it – oatcakes. Merrily eat cheese and have two glasses of red wine.

9pm Arrive home. Am – incredibly – not hungry despite having not eaten a proper dinner. Haven’t not been hungry in a week. This is a turn up for les livres. Take advantage of this by making tea and going straight to bed.

Star rating: ★★★★

Wait – what’s this about? So glad you asked. Let me tell you.

The Sugar Diaries: Day 7

8:30am Porridge and blueberries. Don’t have time for coffee and anyway – don’t want coffee breath for the dentist.

11am Huuuuungry. Oatcakes and cheese.

1pm Two perfectly poached eggs on toast with spinach and cherry tomatoes.

2:30pm Try to find some full fat Greek yoghurt – you know that brand called Fage? I know it’s pronounced differently, but it always reminds me of the term ‘fadge’ which was used in 2008 by Northamptonian year 9 girls to refer interchangeably to both our vaginas and each other (eg, ‘Oi, fadge! Come here!’, ‘My fadge hurts!’ or, as relayed to me by my best friend, ‘He fingered me in the fadge.’). Anyway, what was I saying? Oh yeah. I can’t find any full fat yoghurt, have to have fat free. Sad.

3pm Gym. Run 3.5 miles. I’m training for a race, by the way. I’m not just mad keen on the gym. I’m not a sociopath.

4pm Ra. Ven. Ous. Just want some cake, for fuck’s sake. Have a weird craving for orange squash and I’ve never liked orange squash.

4:30pm Put more peanut butter on a slice of toast than anybody could ever want. Except me, obviously. I prove this to be true by eating more from the jar when I’m done with the toast. It’s a good thing this isn’t about weight loss, because nobody could lose weight while eating this much peanut butter.

8pm Go to a friend’s house for dinner. She has offered to cook and I type out a message explaining that I can’t eat refined sugar or white carbs and I’m so sorry and she doesn’t have to cook for me and I could bring my own food or we could just have tea blah blah blah… remember that she’s vegan. She’s used to dietary requirements. Delete the message and type ‘Sounds amazing – can’t have sugar or white carbs so I’ll bring some brown rice! :)’.

9:30pm Food takes ages but is amazing and so nice to cook together. Sweet potato, chickpea and cashew nut curry. Get in me. I eat loads.

Midnight Get home hungry. Seriously, what is wrong with me? Is this normal?

Star rating: ★★★★

Wait – what’s this about? So glad you asked. Let me tell you.

The Sugar Diaries: Day 6

10am After a good breakfast (the usual), I make it into uni on. time. I know, everyone was shocked, especially me.

12:30pm Lunch of a tuna sandwich on brown bread and an apple. Friends all have cake. It looks good but I feel fine.

2pm Flat white. Yaaaaas.

5pm Eating cashews and my new favourite snack, oatcakes. The cashews taste sweet. What in fresh hell…?

7pm Dinner with dad and brother. I am dreading any kind of diet talk with them. We are having a curry. I eat a popadum (not allowed) with some of the garlicy yoghurty sauce (the least sweet of the sauces but still almost certainly not allowed) to quell any incoming comments about not ordering bread or rice. I have chana masala. I wait for the jeery comments about me not ordering rice or naan… that don’t come! I can’t believe it. Polish off all of my curry – feel very full.

8pm Have a glass of red wine. It stains my teeth. Ew.

9pm Train home. I feel sick.

11pm Home and the sick feeling has worn off. Amazingly, I actually feel quite peckish again (!?). Tell myself I must be imagining it because I just ate about five cans of chickpeas. Go to bed with tea.

Star rating: ★★★★

Wait – what’s this about? So glad you asked. Let me tell you.

The Sugar Diaries: Day 5

9am Day 5. Oh God, it’s only day 5. Wake up hungry. Waaah. Nice breakfast though.

11am Delete Snapchat. Feels really, really good.

12:30pm Finish off the shakshuka for lunch with the last flatbread. Is definitely not as good as when I made it fresh.

2pm Starving. Am out running errands so duck into a Tesco to try and find a sugar-free snack. Buy a packet of cooked chicken, reduced to 97p. Feel a bit weird eating chicken straight from the packet on the tube. I am a shell of the person I once was.

3:30pm I suppose this is the first time the cravings have been really bad. I’m not hungry but it takes a long time to work that out because I am craving something sweet and carb-y so intensely that it feels like hunger. I know my housemate has chocolate digestives in a tin at home and the thought makes me want to cry, so I go to work in a café because I can’t trust myself not to devour the entire packet in one sitting. Feel shaky and jittery, but that could also be because this is my second coffee of the day.

5pm Another trip to Sainsbury’s and another £20 spent in preparation for the week ahead. Maybe this sugar-free thing isn’t so cheap after all. Walking through the aisles, I am craving things I don’t usually eat – things I don’t even like, such as Iced Gems and jam doughnuts. The only reason I don’t crack (say crack again) is because I’d have to admit it here.

6pm Have wholegrain toast with peanut butter and banana. It’s soooooooo good but only the sweet sugary goodness of a thousand apple turnovers can satisfy me now.

7:45pm Talk myself into going to the gym, but it’s late. Run 3.5 miles.

8:30pm I only live about 10 minutes from the gym, but there’s a bus waiting outside as I leave so I get on. 25 pairs of eyes judge me hard as I press the button to get off two stops later.

9:45pm Eating very late because I decide roasted vegetables is a good thing to cook when it’s late and you’re starving. Have the veg with halloumi and rice.

Star rating: ★★★

Wait – what’s this about? So glad you asked. Let me tell you.