23 Things I Learnt in 23 Years

I should have posted this waaaaay back when I turned 23, but I am disorganised and didn’t. What are you going to do. Maybe in my ’24 Things I Learnt in 24 Years’ post, I’ll learn something about being organised.

  1. If you ever get the chance to live abroad, do it. It will change your life.
  2. 90% of the time, if you fart in public but you act like you don’t notice, everyone else will act like they haven’t noticed either.
  3. If you see somebody famous, say hi to them or at least take a sneaky photo because if you don’t your friends won’t believe you.
  4. Never watch the deleted scenes. They were deleted for a reason.
  5. Kiss someone of the gender you don’t usually kiss. You might like it.
  6. Always trust your instincts over the weather forecast.
  7. It’s ok to feel sad/scared/angry. Don’t make it worse for yourself by getting worked up and feeling guilty about your emotions, because that just leaves you feeling sad/scared/angry AND worked up and guilty.
  8. If you find yourself doing tequila shots, you are beyond all help.
  9. It’s normal to not know where your life is going.
  10. Be really nice to every person you come across who works in customer service/retail/behind a bar because these people are the unsung heroes of the world and they put up with more shit on a daily basis than you probably have in your whole life.
  11. Live with only girls for a while. Live with only boys for a while. You will appreciate the good things about both of them so much more.
  12. If someone doesn’t like you/cheats on you/bitches about you/shouts at you in the street, it has nothing to do with you and everything to do with them.
  13. Stop being so mean about other people and to yourself.
  14. Tell the truth. Tell the truth. Tell the truth. (Except to mobile phone network providers. Always lie to them.)
  15. Most people are not dicks. The world is full of nice people. (Except mobile phone network providers. They are all dicks.)
  16. Never get into a drinking competition with an Australian.
  17. There are times when you need to give yourself a break and there are times when you need to pull up your big girl pants and get on with it.
  18. If you see the girl your boyfriend kissed in a club at 2am, don’t talk to her. (I’m not saying this happened to me. I’m just saying, hypothetically, don’t do it.)
  19. Always double check that you have your keys and your phone with you before you leave the house to get drunk or you will spend the night sleeping on the doorstep. (This one did happen to me.)
  20. Stop forcing yourself to do things you really don’t want to do.
  21. When using social media, it is important to remember that 95% of the time, nobody cares.
  22. But please for the love of God, stop posting selfies with song lyrics as captions.
  23. Chokers didn’t look good when I wore them in year 7 and they don’t look good now. Cut that shit out.

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